“When someone shows you who they are… believe them…”
I have heard that saying said so many times throughout the years…
And while I generally try to be the type of person who believes the best about people… I can admit that it has been extremely problematic when I have ignored someone’s toxic behavior and believed the best about them instead of believing who they were showing me that they were…
“People only do what you allow them to do…”
I tell my kids and others this often…
And it’s an interesting concept to think about because even though you can’t control someone’s behavior… You do have the power to decide whether you will accept their behavior and remain in relationship with them…
And I used to be the type of person who was what one would consider “loyal to a fault…” (basically the type of person who allowed my loyalty to a person, or loyalty to a relationship, to supersede making logical decisions about what behavior I would accept)… And it honestly wasn’t until late into my 30s that I realized that this level of loyalty wasn’t helping to create mutually beneficial friendships…
And while establishing boundaries can be exhausting at times, relationships without healthy boundaries are dangerous and can be detrimental to your mental, emotional, and possibly even physical health…
So establishing boundaries within relationships should be a nonnegotiable…
Because people only do what you allow them to do…
And sometimes you have to allow them to do absolutely nothing by removing yourself from the relationship…