Hey…
I know it’s been a while…
And I know I never announced my departure, but I knew I’d be back…
I thought I would be back after things began to feel less repetitive and unfamiliar…
When you really think about it, that doesn’t even make sense…
But nevertheless nothing has really changed in that regard…
And in some ways, I’ve learned to embrace the unfamiliar because I don’t really want to return to what I once knew…
And even though it has been months since we’ve last spent time together…
There hasn’t really been a day where I haven’t been yearning to reconnect with you…
But I guess that’s how it goes when something tries to block you from attaching yourself to the one who helps make you who you are…
In every season and for many different reasons you have always been the one to help me sort out the things that run in circles on my train of thought…
And for that I thank you because the times I have strayed away or become distant never caused you to waver…
You’ve always been right there waiting for me with open arms while I’ve taken the time to discover more about myself so that I could give more of myself to you…
But does my distance ever cause you to wonder about the authenticity of my affection towards you?
Or are you able to rest in the reality that you know there is no me without you?
Are you secure in the fact that you are the best gift I have ever been given?
And do you know that I only leave because I have to and not because I want to…
And do you know that I only leave because you deserve so much more than the half-assed effort that I attempted to give you before my departure…
And do you know that there has never been a time that I really wanted to leave you?
Because in every season and for many different reasons you have always been the one to help me sort out the things that run in circles on my train of thought…
And do you know that I don’t announce my departure because it hurts to be away from you?
So I know it’s been a while…
But I’m back…
And if ever we should part again, I’ll always come back because you are the greatest gift I have ever been given…
No other creative outlet compares to the time spent articulating my thoughts and emotions into audible or written expressions…
I missed you so much and you will forever by my first love…